Change is a funny thing. Sometimes we want it so badly and we’d do anything for it. Sometimes we are so scared of it that would give anything to stop it from happening. Change has played a big part in my life over the past year. I cannot think of a year when I have changed more than this year. It feels like everything in my life has changed over the past 12 months. My relationships with others, my relationship with myself, my understanding of the world, my actions and reactions, my thoughts and way of thinking – all of these things have undergone major transformations this year. I often look around at where I am now and ask myself, “Why? Why now? What was so different about this year that made it so special?” Much as I scratch my head and ponder these questions, the only real answer that seems to stick with me is: I was ready.
It took a long time – a lot of years of doing things to make myself stronger and to get to the point where I was ready for change. I don’t think I even knew I was ready. I just looked around one day and it hit me like a bat to the head: I had to change things. I had to change things. I had that cliched experience of looking around and realising that this was my life and I didn’t like it one bit. I’d thought this many times before. I’d always wanted a different life. I’d always thought that “someday” things would be different. It wasn’t until this year that I realised that I had to make things different. I had to change them. It seems simple enough, realising I had control over my life, but it wasn’t simple to get to that point in my life. It was such a simple notion – take control of your own life – but it was such a complex one for me to grasp.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think it takes a lot of people some time to realise that they can control their own lives. I think many people never realise it at all and end up floating along on whatever path they happen to find themselves drifting down. I was that person. I was that drifter, just floating and thinking I’d get there someday. I had hope that things would work out, but I didn’t want to work for it. I just thought it would happen. Well, I can tell you from personal experience…things don’t “just happen.” Yes, sometimes there are those moments of excitement when things seem like they’re falling in place. Yes, there are times when things seem like fate or coincidence. But the best things – the really great things – happen when you are working towards them, when you are making the changes and when you are putting in the effort to make yourself better.