How to Spot When You Are Judging People

One of the most incredible changes Chris and I are trying to make in our lives, which has undoubtedly so far, made us happier people and better friends to everyone we meet, is learning to let go of our tendency to judge others.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that we don’t ever make quick judgments about people; we all have a tendency to do so by default as if is an innate human instinct.  And we are not the exception here.  But we have learned to catch ourselves.
And today, I challenge you to catch yourself, too.
Firstly, you must realise the fact that you are actually judging people. It sounds simple but doing so takes practice, but there are two clear questions to look for answers in yourself:
• Do you feel irritated, annoyed, angry or dismissive of someone?
• Are you complaining or gossiping about someone?
After you catch yourself judging, pause and take a deep breath.
Don’t scold yourself, but simply ask yourself a few questions:
• Why are you judging this person right now?
• What unnecessary or idealistic expectations do you have of this person?
• Can you put yourself in this person’s shoes?
• What might this person be going through?
• Can you learn more about their story?
• What’s something you can appreciate about this person right now?
Once you’ve done that, offer your kindness and compassion.  Perhaps they just need someone to hear them, someone to not judge them, someone to not control them, someone to be present without an agenda.
But in any case, remind yourself that you can’t help them at all from a position of judgment.  And you can’t help yourself either; because judging people all the time is stressful.

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